Sunday, December 31, 2006

But for now, let me say
(Without hope or agenda)
Just because it's Christmas
(And at Christmas you tell the truth)
To me, you are perfect
And my wasted heart will love you

2:04 PM

past few days were spent at facil camp. haha it was really fun and tried out all the games and all. learning mass dance isnt an easy feat at all. haha sorry jon lauw!thanks for being such a nice partner! ((: its been really tiring as well, days were so long and yup getting sun burnt at PA. but yesterday was good cause i met william after camp. (: haha our Al-Ameen plan never works out and we end up doing other silly stuff. haha tmw's new yr's eve and its gonna be really nice cause in the day is cousin's camp! ((: followed by my cousin's birthday party and then its off to meet the aileen clarissa gretchen and amelia to celebrate new year! ((: esplanade dinner and stayover! ((: and i hope i get to meet the boy. yay im so excited for tmw! ((((: i hope its gonna be good. but i dont want 2006 to come to an end. im not ready for 2007. i havent tied up loose ends. i havent done much this year. it hasnt been good. but i guess its all too late...

12:44 AM

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! ((:
this christmas's one of the best ever. (: christmas eve was spent going to church in the morning and then shopping for last min presents. oh the night before mummy and i went shopping and the entire town was filled with people taking photos of the pretty pretty lights along orchard road and there were carolling all along too! could really feel the christmas spirit! (: yeah then went for family party at my cousin's house. its an every year thing but every year seems nicer and the family's really expanding with new members each yr! this year was pretty crowded and the gift exchange part is so fun! ((: secret santa! haha jason got me again this year and he gave me a top! (: and i got marcus, my sis's bf. and we all got many many presents from the adults! (((: anyway after dinner, it was back home to get changed for christmas midnight mass! met the entire family back in church again! (: midnight mass is always so nice and beautiful. it always reminds us of what christmas is all about, also the four weeks of advent before christmas never fails to make us think and realise that there's always more to christmas then presents and everything else.its this year that i start thinking and waking up that i've moved away from God alot. He seems so distant in my life nowadays and He's no longer the first person i turn to whenever i face trouble or problems. i never made the effort to patch back the distance. i guess its time to do so. i know He's the person that knows me inside out and only He knows whats going to happen to me and the only one that can help me. i guess im going to do something about it. i hope. anyway christmas day was nice (((: jason's party. im sorry jason, shar, bel and shamir! i'll make it up to you all! ((:
met william at 7 plus and then we were supposed to go eat prata. haha but 48 came so we decided to go to holland v instead! ((: oh before that while we were walking to the busstop from newton mrt, this boy gave me a nice nice surprise! ((: thank you a million! ((: i really didnt expect it at all (: we ate, then went to walk around holland v, sat down at some place. haha and this boy was trying to help me crack my back but he couldnt! haha. then we were deciding what to do next and haha funny stuff came up like going to night safari and other funny places and then we decided to go botanic gardens! by the time we got there it was like already almost eleven i think. haha we had to walk super far to get there! i even walked bare footed for a distance. haha and i was grabbing his bag super tightly cause the trees were creeping me out! haha but it was really nice and fun! ((: and so we reached botanic gardens! had a nice walk and there were people still jogging and taking a walk. the place is really beautiful at night (((: yup stayed there till late late and there was no one left already. haha and went to eat supper at newton! ((: yups then home.

i had the best christmas. i love christmas. it never fails to make me feel happy and feel loved. thanks a lot to the tan family for making my christmas a beautiful one every year. ((: the trip with the 2 cousins really made me thank God for such beautiful family (: yups. thank you william for such a nice christmas too (: thank you for the present, the time spent together and everything else (:

11:12 PM

Saturday, December 23, 2006

hello. im back! ((: after four days. haha the past four days have been really great and fun! ((: esp with my two cousins and bro and aunt and uncle too. hahah this is cousins camp with only the four of us! anyway im really tired now. after the long long long ride , haha and with all the crankiness of my cousins.haha conversations never fail to evoke laughter. alright. im too lazy to type.maybe i'll upload pics later. hahah i only have a few pics but i have those of our cake party on the last night! haha. alright.

anyway i just saw something that made me angry.for once im really angry and not irritated.but im not going to ask you about it.roarss.this is not a good christmas gift.

4:46 PM

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

what i want is a christmas surprise...

1:33 PM

rah decided this morning that i'll go for retreat instead so i packed all my stuff and went to school. then mom said i have to go msia so that means to leave at 3. mr leong said might as well not come for camp at all cause they're off to east coast park later after lunch . rahhh i wanna go for retreat now. but anyway on a brighter note, more time spent with family.more shopping. ((: okay im off to pack my bag again. see you all in a few days time
anyway yesterday met marianne at tanjong pagar to get william's camera back and then watched the holiday with william and then haha we sat down for like two hours watching stuff on his video. damn funny. (((((:

12:12 PM

Monday, December 18, 2006

okay felt the sudden thing to not go sleep and to write somemore stuff.was reading shan's blog and she was talking about something about family and all, about how we often think that the being in someone else's shoes would be better, much more enjoyable and tolerable. i guess i often think that way too. like somehow this person's life seems to be all so perfect. but i guess ultimately i wouldn wanna ever swop places with anyone. life's good cause of the family i have. they've been the people who stand all my nonsense and without uncertainty, i know they're the people i can really fall back on. this strucked me cause a few days ago, i screamed at my sis for some small minor stuff and then she msged me when i left and i felt so guilty cause she said sorry when it wasnt even her fault and said " i hope we'll have a decent conversation next time okay (: ". i guess she wanted to make my day better cause i was all grumpy. that msg made me thank god for such a wonderful sis and to appreciate her even more. now, i guess when i wanna scream at her or anyone else in the family, i think twice cause i know im the one being spoilt and unreasonable.i enjoyed the times before she left for canada cause i could talk to her anytime and i missed her a whole lot when she wasnt here that i cried sometimes esp during the o level period and now that she's back, i dont treasure her and i ignore her sometimes.and this entry's only about my sis, haha imagine how long this if i wrote about the rest of my family.
anyway i really thank god for such a wonderful and perfect family . ((:

and she wrote this " he understands everything and when i talk,he listens no matter how boring i am. in short, he loves me. his love isn't the "i'll-call-you-everyday",kind of love. it's the kind of love that lets me know that no matter what happens to me, no matter how ugly or stupid i may end up to be, he'll be by my side, and he'll always think i'm beautiful".. i thought this was really nice ((:

1:38 AM

today's a really stayhome day. went for mass in the morning. haha i always get screamed at every sun morning to wake up cause i always make the whole family late for mass, oh and my bro too. haha whole house always filed with noise to wake the both of us up. anyway then after mass, it was lunch with the tans and sister ( nun) who came from malaysia then to uncle's house. good time talking to che feli,shawn and bro. anyway yeah then home. weather was too good so i slept all the way till 5 something cause had guitar lesson at 6. today was fun ((: haha i learnt a lot more stuff. gonna learn songs next week! ((: yup justin, my guitar teacher is really nice. haha he's damn patient with me. then dinner with my family near heartland mall there. came home and then around ten plus, went to meet william for supper at newton. haha nice supper ((: sis is flying off tmw morning to hongkong. )))): rah one week without her. im gonna miss her presence! alrights time to sleep.

1:05 AM

Saturday, December 16, 2006

the whole week's been a rather fun week ((:
didnt meet amanda in the end. was supposed to go with her for lunch and then to bugis but in the end, i couldn go. ): and she's only free after the hols cause she's got ogl camp and then she's off to india. ): anyway so went out with my family to go home system shopping again. sitting in the showrooms hearing different sounds and watching different movies all aint that fun and i just sit there stoning. haha the other time they were playing eric clapton's concert, and it was nice (: all the systems look and sound the same to me. only my bro knows whats in all those gadgets. yes and im so tired now. haha when we came home just now, met auntie valerie downstairs walking ollie. haha she's so pretty and cute. conversations with her plus mummy are always about rover and ollie. haha but its kinda interesting. rover likes ollie alot. ((: he always waits at the lift to see if she's coming down.

anyway weds and thurs were spent shopping. met up with dearest aileen seah on wed where we last min in the evening decided to go shopping for christmas stuff! in the end it was aileen, janella and me! haha met janelle when we were shopping and she joined us. haha first time talking to her. dinnered together too and heard all about the ac stuff and all thats happening! all the council stuff too. janelle's nice and cute! haha the three of us spent a long time in the mango sale digging all the stuff and we managed to find stuff! ((: hahah the three of us were being damn auntie all and just kept finding stuff. haha both of them are damn cute!

thurs: met up with zelina cause she just came back from australia. then it was celine, zelina, jessie, gekshan, adeline and me! (: royal chocolate house outing too! (: had a good time catching up on each other's lives and all. kinda made me miss ij a lot. ): then met pam and we shopped till night! ((:

hols are ending and im not ready for school at all ))): rahhhh i still wanna play!

5:11 PM

Thursday, December 14, 2006

and this post is to my beloved friend goh song yao. haha. welcome back to singapore from switzerland! ((: and talking to you online made me realise how long i havent spoken to you. last time it used to be continuous msges esp during lessons and studying together after school, after trainings and even on saturdays. ah i miss those days where we just sat down and instead of studying, end up talking and being emo together. i never imagined i would say i miss talking to you but just now proved me wrong! you're realy a friend i never wanna lose (: thanks for the past one yr of friendship! though the girls are not part of badminton anymore, but hope we'll all still remain close! (:

you nearly cried, i nearly did too.

1:41 AM

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

shopping with mummy today in town and in bugis! ((:

you seem so grumpy everytime i talk to you,
i dont know how to make you smile anymore
maybe its just me.
but i know i still love you...

6:41 PM

roars second post of the day. and so the rest of the evening was spent at the doctor cause i cant breathe properly at night and i've been coughing like nobody's business for the past week or more. roars. today's a grumpy dayyyyyyyyyy )))))))):

iwonderwhyithinksomuchimsosorrydear.

1:07 AM

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

oh man, today's like doing-stuff-for-the-house day. first mummy woke me up to go eat breakfast haha and then i went back to sleep and she woke me up again at 1 something to help her fix the light. hahah apparently when she was changing the bulb, then the whole glass thing was going to drop so we both had to take turns to hold the glass plus the bulb for 45 mins. haha imagine standing on a high chair reaching out for the bulb and glass. haha hilarious. anyway then marcus and my sis came home to take rover out to the vet for vaccinations at mount pleasant clinic. haha so i had to go as well. went to the vet and joyce was there helping out (: haha so fun to work there! they first weighed rover and he's like super overweight! he's like 7.75kg when he's supposed to be 5 only. they cant even feel his ribs when they put their hands over. haha anyway injected in something and did a blood test. and then we were done ((: haha he's a healthy boy! ((: and now im bored at home while someone's out playing soccer! )): haha

3:57 PM

Monday, December 11, 2006

today's a really panicky day. haha was really scared how things were gonna turn out and i even didnt wanna do the thing afterall but im glad i made it. (: thanks pam for helping me out! (((: thanks for spending the whole day with me, waking up so early even though we slept at 3 something am last night, for walking and hearing me whine and whine and whine and being ever so grumpy today. (: love you girl!
anyway hope you liked the thing i made for you (:

11:00 PM

its 3.04 am now and im still awake. roars. i hope tmw turns out good. i dont know how you think actually. alright im off to do some stuff. i really hope everything goes well.

3:04 AM

Sunday, December 10, 2006

roarsss today's a boring day cause everyone's out besides mummy and daddy. and i wanna bring rover to bishan park but its so hot and im so lazy..haha i was supposed to have tuition today but im too lazy again to msg my tuition teacher plus i have guitar lesson at 6 later.thats quite fun though but roarss. my hols are starting to be useless and not fun anymore. )): but yay pam's gonna come over tmw to! ((: and im gonna meet amanda lim on thurs for dinner! ((((:

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

1:25 PM

Saturday, December 09, 2006

its this time of the year that there seems to be a rush to get things done, to think back on year that has just gone by so quickly, to think how life had been, to catch up on the distanced friendships over the year, to catch up on the work thats yet to be done, to catch up on the lost time. over the years, this becomes a routine. each year, i think of doing something different but it turns out that its the same all over again. i dont think i've changed for the better. thats sad. i've grown over the year, my thinking has changed. i cant imagine that a year ago, i was still thinking of being posted to a different school from the rest of my friends, and now its one year more become i leave this school. reading the senior's blogs, they are all starting to say how they'll miss this school and how their life in cj had been a fulfilling one, but yet i think to myself, will i think like them in a year's time? its sad to know that deep down i have my answer. perhaps i just made a wrong choice in the first place. but i guess i know that coming to this school has let me know one person that changed my life (: i feel like gazing at stars...till then..

5:17 PM

Friday, December 08, 2006

william came over this morning, met him at 11 and then off we went to bishan hoping that there were courts to play. hahaha the stupid cc there didnt have and even better they didn even have nets! haah anyway so we went to eat, laughed and made accronyms with lots of things and he was driving me crazy. anyway, walked around j8 and then decided to go try tanglin cc. haha we're such badminton addicts. haha we'vebeen trying so many places and we're always so unlucky cause its either they have some function or some chess competition. anyway they didnt have courts there. and then he had to go home cause he had to go do his passport..

wanna tell you im not always angry with you
i still love you alright?

11:09 PM

Thursday, December 07, 2006

today's a good good day. (((: met william at holland v at ten something in the morning to eat bk breakfast. haha we both were late and ended up wondering if there was still breakfast. hehe anyway ate our breakfast. ((: then headed to town to watch movie. watch flags of our fathers at ps. it was rather good. but it wasnt that sad actually. not waht i thought it would be. :/ then we went to eat play the spot the difference game! hahahah we spent like manymanymany dollars on that stupid game just cause we wanted to beat the record and we were damn irritated when we couldn get it. hahah then we ate pepper lunch! (((: and then walked and walked and walked till we ended up at centrepoint. stopped at starbucks cause our legs were aching from all the walking. sat there, talked and talked, laughed about other people haha and then went back to my house. ((((((: and spent a whole lot of time there.so today was ten am to ten pm
HAPPY ONE MONTH DEAR (:
thanks for everything, starting from day one from setting the tealights thing to today. i know there are so many stuff that happened. well i hope things will be better in the future. thanks for the many many memories. going out everyday,studying together, going to watch countless movies, taking a long long bus ride to some unknown place, sitting at the playground talking, long long phone calls, sneaking around weird places, walking through the "dark" path, being indecisive of what to do.you certainly made a difference in my life.thank you for coming into my life. (: loveyouboy. (:

12:04 AM

Saturday, December 02, 2006

and so yesterday was the j2's prom and council had to be there. haha it was kinda fun to see what everyone wore and everything. i had fun nonetheless taking photos and all, it kinda like seemed it was our prom. anyway thanks sheryl for making last night even nicer esp talking to you about everything and all. never got the chance to talk to you this much even though we've been in the same school for many many years. it was good talking to you (: .alright i'll let the pics describe how prom went..

shar and i during preparations