Sunday, October 15, 2006
you say you can make your own decision no matter what the circumstances might be but what if i say circumstances did not allow me to make my decision? i dont like the way things are worked but yet, conforming becomes a necessity. and that makes me seem like i accept the way things are. i dont like many things about the whole system, yet is there any other way out? it just boils down to people thinking defiance is the main reason why i actually refuse to do certain things. i know i may be stuborn and want my way at times, but sometimes i really cant find a reason why people do certain things. its as if testing our intelligence and the way things are handled seem to fit in under the word stupidity, there werent much thought given into it. if i didnt have a choice i wouldn be in this predicament.different mindsets, different goals, different opinions, different thinking.its time to leave.
on friday was the j2's graduation ceremony. looking at how there were tears,smiles,laughter, hugs, i wonder how each of their lives have been in cj. i wonder what my emotion will be next yr. nostalgic? emotion-less? regretful? elated? i dont know really. i didnt feel anything like how the rest of the CA councillors did.maybe the next one year wil do something. perhaps. somehow that word seems like it will never happen. oh wells.
8:42 PM