Tuesday, August 08, 2006
im thinking about the badminton team again. i just love the team so much even though our team is so small that we dont even have enought to form a full team. its just the times spent together, doing small little stuff, sitting around and talking and going through trainings together. i really miss those times before competition when within such a short time, the team came together and built such a strong bond. from mere strangers to best buddies, best teammates. i'll always remember my first training when so many things happened and i was clueless about everything but now im glad i didnt give up and continued to stay in the team. because of badminton, i've found friends whom i treasure so much. its not only the girls. i was quite touched when songyao came with the girls team to support us when we went to find mr liu.for the boys, from acquaintances, we became studying mates. its never easy to part. but now we realy have to. i know i should have stood up agaisnt what mr liu said about me and council, im really sorry i didnt. when we left that day, and i saw both of you in tears, i realised how much badminton meant to the three of us. im glad badminton was ever part of my life in cj.
well, im glad to realise that life in council aint that bad after all. it seemed like i'll just breeze through my one yr of council term at first but now i beg to differ. im not gonna waste my time but make a difference somehow somewhere. im beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. perhaps i'll achieve my goal, perhaps i wont. but i wanna know i've tried.
i dont wanna fail anymore.as a person. i dont wanna keep disappointing.it hurts knowing you've tried so hard yet failed.when disappointment sets in and i feel like a failure. its doing myself injustice.but yet its so hard to get back on my feet, to keep moving on. its when you've failed that you feel you'll fail anyway. but argh. i dont care anymore. alright
on the brighter note, day out with council people was good. (: movie and company was good! (: till then...
9:57 PM