Thursday, July 27, 2006
its a long and winding journey ahead. i dont know what lies ahead. i only know the road ahead is complicated and its gonna be hard. i wanna give up, i wanna let go of everything. im just so tired. really. i've been trying hard, hard enough to know i tried. i tried to let go but i cant. why. it seems so easy for someone to forget what happened but why not for me too. i wanna go back to the real me, where i could really be myself without caring about what others feel. i wanna go back to the past, go back to the happy times. go back to the month of mar,april and may last yr. but its so impossible. perhaps things are just meant to be this way.
its friday at last. im living for the end of week everday.
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do you know I really really do
Well hey so much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been cryin since the day
The day you went away
11:13 PM
its a long and winding journey ahead. i dont know what lies ahead. i only know the road ahead is complicated and its gonna be hard. i wanna give up, i wanna let go of everything. im just so tired. really. i've been trying hard, hard enough to know i tried. i tried to let go but i cant. why. it seems so easy for someone to forget what happened but why not for me too. i wanna go back to the real me, where i could really be myself without caring about what others feel. i wanna go back to the past, go back to the happy times. go back to the month of mar,april and may last yr. but its so impossible. perhaps things are just meant to be this way.
its friday at last. im living for the end of week everday.
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do you know I really really do
Well hey so much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been cryin since the day
The day you went away
11:00 PM
Saturday, July 22, 2006
just came back from the airport. yay che ann's back! ((: anyway yeah today had council meeting after school and it was rather funny during ca meeting. haha mr pang's super funny. okay im bored and im not in the mood to blog.
i knew you would be happy whereever you go and im glad you gained fame and gained a position in the council where you are now.when i knew about it, i felt really happy for you. though i dont see you anymore, but a part of me goes out to you always.
1:32 AM
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
okay this week's been rather hectic and so many things going on.. invest yesterday was rather good. took lots of pictures which i will upload soon. met so many people and yeah rather memorable event. oh oh i saw jean!!! ((: hehe i dont know why i feel happy seeing her. anyway yeah went for supper after that with amelia, aileen and sean and we met the rest of the council. hehe. anyway i hope this week ends soon... soon. im so tired already.
im happier as compared to the first day i stepped into cj. but not as happy as the days i walked into ij everyday. the feeling is so different. i guess its the ten yrs in the same place that made me so accustomed and so comfortable in the environment. every day i pass by ij at thomson road, its this feeling of home, of familiarity which i dont feel now. i look at the building, even the physical structure and i feel that im glad i spent four yrs there. i was proud to wear the ij uniform but now i wear the cj uniform with no feelings attached. i guess its such a neutral feeling . i dont know. well, im glad my life's getting better though..
6:10 PM
Saturday, July 15, 2006
roars. its funny how we miss that something only after we've lost it and never really appreciated it when it was still within our sight. perhaps we did appreciate it and miss it more than anything when its gone. memories are what keeps that something close to our hearts even when its gone and you cant help wanting it back.but at most times, its impossible. everyone has moved on and it sucks feeling that you're the only one left behind, reminiscing all the times spent together. perhaps "it" is a person..
10:38 AM
Thursday, July 13, 2006
okay this whole week's been crazy. getting back results and getting depressed over it cause it all sucks. i thnk im gonna retain if i go on like that. roars. been so grumpy the whole week and it doesnt help that i go home so late everyday. today's like the only day im home so early. anyway mon had council meeting after school. tues went out with jo charm songyao and james after school.(: yay i love them man. they make school much more bearable.wed went for council rehearsal then went to eat ice cream.(: and today's just boring. roars. im so sick of school now.
what i saw was disturbing. it made me think and realise im probably having the wrong attitude and just being negative about everything. it made me think to myself that perhaps i should live life happily and stop harping on all the stuff im unhappy with. i wanted to cry when i saw but i held back my tears. it really made me sad. i've been thinking about it for the past one day. i think i'll remember it for life and maybe then i will tell myself to treasure life more. its so tragic to think that one day i may just go like that. its so hard to accept the fraility of life.
6:27 PM
Thursday, July 06, 2006
okay havent been blogging. anyway on mon went out with jo and songyao. haha the rest of the badminton people have disappeared into thin air. haha okay so met at ps. then while walking bumped into yenkiat.haha then stupid songyao left with him to go play dota. then it was left with jo and me so we walked around wanting to get tickets for movie cause songyao said he wanted to watch. but no tickets so we two decided to go marina instead. haha AGAIN! our fav place man. haha then yeah.. tues , didnt go to school. went to see doc and got dehydration thing. then home. today went out with songyao and jo again. hahahah went to eat after much deciding at bk cause jo's classmates were there. then song left and qibin jo lester and i walked to wheelock to the ipod shop then home. its friday tmw! finally! i dont enjoy school ): ]
i just hope it isnt true.
10:23 PM
Sunday, July 02, 2006
okay so at 8 plus last night aileen and i were talking online and we always have crazy stuff that come in so random that it has to be executed STRAIGHTAWAY! hahahah we decided to go stay over amelia's house and leave our houses straightaway! anyway so we packed our stuff and met amelia at the cj bus stop. OH OH before i left my house, there wasnt anyone at home cause mom went to watch a play, dad went to churcha and bro and sis went to watch soccer so it was left with rover alone. and he knew i was going out and he kept hugging my leg and didnt wanna let me go!!i felt so bad cause he was gonna be alone at home!! so sad, could see his face so pitiful! hehe anyway went to meet them and there was gretchen, james,sharmaine and binni at the bus stop too. and they wanted to go eat. but i looked as if i was going to sleep! unglam state. anyway so we went then home to amelia's house.hahaha okay we did weird stuff and laughing at everything and anything. esp when aileen started playing chariots with the songs that she was listening to. hahahah could see her face. priceless moment man! haha all her actions look the same. haha okay it was a good catch up session last night. really good. havent had so much fun in a longgg while. then went to church today and the rest of the tan family didnt come cause they all went to my uncle's house to watch soccer. okay im tired of blogging. why must the hols be so short. roars! ):
2:15 PM
Saturday, July 01, 2006
there are always times when you have that empty feeling inside. no longer know whats the plan for you ahead and you just keep wondering , keep guessing if times are gonna get tougher or get better.when everything keeps crashing down on you but you dont have that ability to pick up and move on, isnt that sad. the future seems bleak often not,whats there you can actually do? nothing really. its all up to God's plan.
4:50 PM
mom woke me up so early in the morning to say we're gonna leave the house in fifteen mins to go for the ij pri carnival. haha so tired since last night. anyway yeha so went with mom dad and sis. super hot day but it was really fun nonetheless seeing familiar faces and seeing the girls whom i took care of when they were pri one. haha seeing them become so much more matured. haha okay im not that old. saw lots of people like carol nguyen, tatyana and more. roars. i miss ij so much now. ate lots of food but didnt play any games. although the school environment aint familiar cause its a new building but the school's spirit is all so familiar and homely. (: i guess ij will always remain the bestest part of my life. okay im tired and bored now.
1:47 PM