Saturday, May 20, 2006
i've been thinking a lot these days and i realise there are so many things that i cant let go of or rather its i dont wanna let go. well, i guess those memories, experiences are so dear to the heart that i wanna keep it forever. its so hard to move on, to be unsure of what the future is gonna be like, to go and face new obstacles alone, to adapt to a new environment and then look back to regret. i guess its my life in ij that i cant let go of. i know everyone is moving on, adapting well to jc life , making new friends and creating new memories but i guess im holding myself back. im making myself dislike the present,making myself think negatively about what is about to happen. i still regret my decision, i know i cant change it anymore and i need to try to make do but its making me unhappy. conversations with charmaine are so relieving, to know someone feels the same way as me. i miss ij a lot. really.why's it always when its gone then you start appreciating it. i really miss the feeling of being at home in ij, of how you know there were people you could fall back on, people whom you could really trust without doubting, people who were willing to walk to journey with you. i miss the prefectorial board. although there were many things that happened which were unpleasant, but they were the ones i go to school for, they were the ones i grew closer to in such a short period of time. roars. i miss everything about ij, i miss 4/2 , i miss the things we did in ij . i miss the steamboat session we had , the countless class . roars. its hard to be the same person i was in ij because i dont really feel at home in cj. roars. im glad i have the people in badminton though and people in class like pamela gomez and christy. study sessions with badminton people are always hilarious and make me happier for some reason. oh wells. things wil change im sure.
10:15 PM